It would likely be said that the entire task of parenting is to shape the life, principles, capabilities, confidence, and of course health of your child. Not all of this is up to us as their parents of course – any child that has been through the schooling system, likely both you and I, will know that our peers and outside influences can shape us just as much.
But it’s also true that as a parent, doing your best to impart good wisdom, appropriate behaviors, and helpful values is important. Maybe it’s determining at what age you’re happy with your child having their ears pierced should they want it (for some it’s while they’re still toddlers, for others it can be up to their teenage years), or how often you’re happy to eat fast food as a simple treat.
But another question is worth asking – to what extent should you impart your subjective tastes? For example, you might be of the opinion that music today isn’t half as good as it was when you were growing up (an opinion many seem to share), but that doesn’t mean depriving them of accessing it and leaving them unable to relate to peers who do is necessarily the best decision.
The truth is that a healthy diet of media and art can be good for a child if properly mediated by a parent. But how should you decide to shape their tastes? Let’s consider the following:
Nurture Natural Passions & Inclinations
The great thing about having kids is that you’ll find children come with their own pre-packaged personalities waiting to be revealed. Some are more shy than others, but that doesn’t mean they have any less character. It’s often about nurturing this in the right direction rather than investing it entirely. For example, if they have a love for band practice, then using band instrument rentals to help them practice their craft and feel more confident can be wonderful – even if you personally prefer playing Spanish guitar.
Share Your Love, But Give Them Freedom
Of course, please don’t take the above advice as a sign that you should be “hands off” the whole process. Share what you love, children love that. They’ll form childhood memories of listening to Fleetwood Mac with you, for example or seeing an age-appropriate movie you love together. But that’s what this should be, sharing, and not necessarily dictating. Perhaps you love an old version of Alice in Wonderland on screen, but they much prefer the new version. Neither is necessarily “wrong or right,” only generational. This can give us more freedom in how we relate to their time and invite them to learn about ours.
Teach Principles, Not Necessarily Exact Specifics
It’s nice to learn about principles and not necessarily the exact specifics of what we should think. So for example, if your child doesn’t like baking ginger snap biscuits which happen to be your favorites, that doesn’t mean baking is an activity you can’t bond over. You may just need to share what you’ve learned through other means or show the technique as you do create your preference. This way a personality mismatch, as all parents have with their child in some ways, won’t denigrate your bond at all.
With this advice, we hope you can more easily shape your child’s tastes for the better.
Image: Pexels – CC0 License
